Letting Go and Leaning into Grief: Navigating the End of a Soulmate Connection

This morning, grief hit me like a tidal wave. There was anger first—raw, consuming, relentless anger. Why couldn't you grow with me? Why couldn't you show up as the version of yourself we both dreamed of?

I was exhausted from being the strong one, weary of holding the world together alone. I felt drained from constantly being clear and aware in a world full of emotionally disconnected, wandering souls. In moments of overwhelming grief, I even found myself wishing I'd chosen an easier path—a life less profound, more superficial, and simpler.

I wished I could've settled for material comforts alone because emotional fulfillment seemed perpetually out of reach. It was heartbreaking to acknowledge that financial care came easily, yet emotional support was elusive, gated behind unresolved traumas, mind games, and society's arbitrary rules.

Today, my grief felt suffocating. In this overwhelming moment, I wished to go home—not an ending of life, but a return to a realm where love is abundant, freely given, and never withheld. I despised this timeline, resented humanity’s complexity, and wished momentarily for simplicity, even shallow waters, because perhaps there, I'd find relief.

But beneath this storm of emotions, clarity emerged. I understood this wasn't hatred—it was pure grief. Grief demanding to be felt, acknowledged, and ultimately released. This heavy, unbearable feeling didn't belong in my body. So, I chose to let it go.

As painful as it was, I recognized this ending was necessary. Despite the games, the fleeting gestures, and unmet promises, this ending was an opportunity—a painful but powerful invitation to surrender, trust the flow of life, and step bravely into rebirth.

So, I celebrate this ending, painful though it may be, because it frees me to grow again, authentically and unapologetically. My grief is not mine to hold forever. I honor its message, and now, I lovingly release it, stepping forward lighter and clearer than ever before.